Crucial Mistakes Guys Make with Women

There are many mistakes that guys make with women, which instantly kills the attraction. Once you identify them and become aware of them, you change your behavior and bring constructive changes into your life, thereby making you far more successful. It is certainly a state of mind that is well worth developing and strengthening. An understanding of these mistakes can change your whole life.

If you have been exhibiting any of these mistakes, it is now the time to change the way you think. It is time to get rid of these negative thoughts and behaviors and lead your relationships. Make a note of them and start today. Changing even one of then suggestions below, will bring more success into your dating life!

Nice Guy Frame – If there is one thing that turns a woman off quicker than anything else, it’s the moment she sees you as a nice guy. As stated earlier, women are subject to biology. Women have 200,000 years of evolution and gender roles, to help them in their search for a man. Deep down, most women want a strong, decisive, confident man – the type of man that would have kept her safe thousands of years ago.

A nice guy is unable to unlock this level of attraction in her, leading too many problems in the relationship. It’s still an instinct that dictates their reactions to men and so, in many cases, the woman will become frustrated and walk over a weak guy. The truth is, biology is often the reason why women react in certain ways to men. While being a jerk is never going to get you success with women, considering the biology that goes into relationships will.

So what’s the best thing to do? By being a strong confident alpha, you are combining what women say they want, with what their instincts tell them to look for. The fact is, a woman will never use the word “nice” describe a man she’s attracted to. Of course, there is a time to be nice as long as you are also confident, decisive and strong.

Qualifying before she Qualifies - If you qualify yourself before she shows interest, you will come across as approval seeking, which is a major turnoff. Approval seeking is a very needy and unattractive behavior that you should seek to eliminate, or minimize as much as possible. It communicates insecurity as you show that you need other people to validate you.

Don’t offer your resume, your earning potential, and tell her how you can change her life right away. If you do, you will end up looking like a wimp and no woman likes a wimp. She is looking for guy who does not need approval and is a leader of his own life. An alpha male does not need the approval of others as he has a more solid foundation to base his self esteem on. When you meet a woman, do not qualify yourself until she had displayed interest in you.

Not having standards - Setting and maintaining standards is one of the most important factors in dating. If you are not the selector then you need to start setting standards right away. A woman will never feel attraction for a man, who has no idea of what he is looking for. Every person has their own preference when

it comes to dating. It is important to make sure that these expectations remain realistic and attainable. Setting expectations that are too high will limit your prospects. By trying to identify how compatible the two of you really are by looking beyond the superficial early on, you have just demonstrated that you are a high value guy.

Trying to buy her emotions – Men and women relate to money differently and don’t always handle it in the same way. One of the biggest mistakes men make is that they try to influence women’s emotions by spending large amounts of money on them. This type of emotional spending can actually have the adverse effect and drive the couple apart.

Some men even buy presents to keep a woman interested when they know she is seeing other people. Why waste time and money on somebody who has perfected the art of using people to get what they want without giving anything in return? You simply cannot spend money on people until they respect and appreciate you.

Yet guys still think they can change her and almost force her to like him by buying her presents. Check out any of the TV court shows and you will quickly see the fallout from this type of arrangement. Many guys often spend a lot of money buying her a new wardrobe, only to have her leave him for another man. You dress her up in the best clothes, only to have her dump you for another man who is thrilled to get such a polished fashionable lady. Buying her presents isn’t going to make your relationship more solid, and you will lose the good ones and keep the shallow ones.

Depending on Permission or Confirmation – Women are looking for a guy who can lead and show her the right path in a relationship. No woman wants to lead in the relationship and a man that is indecisive is actually forcing the woman to take the lead. For example, if a woman asks you what you want to do on a date, you should never reply with…

“I don’t mind…What do you want to do?”

This does not mean that she does not have a say on what to do. It simply means that you must have a plan and have a habit of making the decisions in your life.

The more decisive you are with women, the more of a leader you are in your life and women find this incredibly attractive. The power of leading has a bigger impact on women than you could ever imagine. Indecision has ruined so many relationships and if you want to keep the attraction alive, you must always lead the relationship.

Sacrificing your identity- You are a strong, self assured guy, with your own views and opinions. When guys meet somebody that they are really attracted to,they sometimes tend to get so caught in the relationship that they lose their own separate identity. If the other person offers an opinion, they simply agree with it incase they offend the other person. This is a huge trap and it is covered in detail in the section on attraction tests. By sacrificing their identity, they risk losing what made

them attractive in the first place. They lose a part of themselves and by giving up their own views and beliefs; they are bound to feel a little resentment. How do you overcome this?

If asked, simply state your views. You don’t have to change anyone’s mind or convert them to your point of view but, at all times, you must maintain your own identity.

These are just a few examples of mistakes that guys commonly make. Almost all of these mistakes are connected to the issue of leading the relationship. Women are attracted to MEN, not little girls posing as men. You must choose your own direction in the relationship.

If you lead without needing her to follow,you are developing the masculine leadership side of yourself. This is hugely attractive and exactly what the other person wants you to do. You don’t care if people go in the direction that you want and you don’t need them to, but if they want to follow you – that’s great!

To get more advice on how to attract women get your copy of “Become an Alpha Male” that has nearly 300 pages of information that will ultimately SKYROCKET YOUR SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

How to set up an instant date with a girl

On a date, if you bring somebody to a variety of locations, it establishes comfort between you far more quickly. This can also create a much deeper connection with her each location instills more memories.

The same principle can also work when you meet the person for the first time. For example, the next time you are in bar, rather than simply going for the easy option of asking her for her phone number, try to bring her with you to a different bar.

By doing this you are giving her an attraction test and if she complies with you, then you know that a certain level of trust exists between you. To switch bars, you can simply say one of the following:

“Hey guys, there is a really cool live band playing in a bar up the street…We are going now but you guys should come too – you will love it”

or

“We are going to another bar to meet some friends – you should come with us”

If you suggest going to her place, your place, or a hotel room you’re more than likely going to get a negative response unless you can tell she wants to cuddle up to you. On the other hand a live music bar or a late night pizza place will work far better in your favour. Bringing a girl or a group to multiple locations is a way of building comfort with her.

With each venue change, her trust in you will grow and you will connect much easier together. This is assuming, of course, that there was a smooth transition and that interesting conversation and activities take place at each location. By changing venues, you are also taking the lead in the interaction and she is choosing to follow you.

This is especially important and it will really raise your value. You are also creating a time distortion and because of the change in venues, they will feel like they have known you for much longer than just a few hours. When you leave the club with a girl or a group, you need to establish that you are leading immediately.

This is very important as if you do not, guys may come up and flirt with them on the street or they may get distracted by other people or different clubs etc. Thus, when you leave the club, go to the person you are interested in and say the following:

“Show me your hand… (Link arms with her)

…Now if any women come up to hit on me, you have to save me – promise!”

If you have changed locations to several different bars and you are getting on really well, the next step is to bring drive around with them in your car. You can do this easily by suggesting to go to another bar, a little farther away but you will drive over.

If they are not comfortable with getting into your car, then you can either build more comfort and try again or simply organise a date and say your goodbyes. However, if you phrase it in the right way, they will usually realize that it is no big deal and they will gladly get in.

If you are with your wingman and two girls, put him in the back with his girl and now the person you are interested in is beside you. Make sure you have some good music to keep up the mood and the energy. Go to a few different bars and if they are comfortable with it, you can bring them back to your house for a few drinks. If they do not want to go, then give them a lift home as this will build more comfort and trust and show you to be a cool guy.

If she comes back to your place, then you know that she really trusts you and is attracted to you. In the house, make sure to sit next to her. Make your house exciting and have it unique to you so you can show it off to her. Have some pictures in the laptop, paintings on the wall, interesting music you want her to listen, ornaments that you bought on holidays and even your pet you want to show her.

A boring house shows you to be a boring guy. She is in your house so make sure she is comfortable and make her feel welcome and at home. Ask her what she wants to drink and give her options.

Do not offer alcohol as she might think that you are trying to make her drunk. So start with “I have coffee, tea and wine” and pick one of them based on your desire for yourself and let her choose what she wants.

It is highly recommended that you also have plenty CD’s ready to listen from various singers while she is with you in the home as silence might make her feel tense and ruin the mood. Once you know that she is comfortable, you can begin to kiss her.

To get more advice on how to attract women get your copy of “Kama Lifestyles: Dating Guide For Men” that has nearly 300 pages

Why be an Alpha Male?

Every man should strive to be an alpha male. This is a journey that will profoundly change your life.

People always ask is it really possible to become an alpha male? To succeed in your efforts, you need a structured, practical approach to developing your true alpha male characteristics.

As you progress through life, you will realise that any behavior can be changed. After all, actions create habits and habits form character. Some psychologists believe that it takes 21 days to form a new habit but in reality, you can often develop character traits much quicker than that, especially positive ones.

If you think about it, people spend most of their lives chasing good feelings. To some extent, everybody wants to be happy, although few of us agree on what this means or how best to achieve it. Acting in accordance with your beliefs will bring you happiness. This is essentially the way of the alpha male. This is the main reason to develop your alpha traits.

Once you start to develop your own alpha traits, you will immediately notice the effects that it has on your own personality and in particular, your interactions with other people. People will begin to look at you in a new, more positive light. By taking control of your actions and implementing positive exercises, your true alpha qualities will very quickly begin to shine through. It will require a commitment on your part to really perfect your personality and evolve into an alpha male.

However, it will be worth every minute you invest in this pursuit. Outside of success with women, the fact that happiness is associated with better health, more creativity, higher income, and better workplace evaluations ought to really catch your focus. Once you learn the foundations of the alpha male, you can bring your experiences and new powerful beliefs into virtually every area of your life.

Once you recognise and begin to develop your own unique alpha traits, you will achieve maximum success in your relationships, and indeed in every area of your life. Of course, your success with women will increase drastically, but your relationships with your family and loved ones will also dramatically improve. And there is a way to do this! Simply by making a decision now, to act like and indeed to be an alpha male, you will take your dreams and ideas and turn them into reality.

An alpha male is a skillful leader of his own life. It is never too late to become what you want to be. In any relationship, people at all levels want to be inspired. The idea of increasing your strengths and qualities will not be new to you, but the study of the alpha male offers some amazing new ways to do so.

Best of all, developing your alpha qualities is a discipline that is compatible with what you are already doing and need not be exchanged for what you already know that works. The exercises that we give you are essentially a proven formula for success that will enable you to achieve your potential as a man and really achieve the results you desire.

As you use this book, remember that the Alpha male mindset is a journey, not a destination.

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Menswear: Accessorising 101

How you accessorise yourself will say a lot about you. Accessories accent your look and finish the making of an outfit. Men who appreciate style and choose bold colors and textures are people who take risks with confidence. The accessories you choose should reflect your personality and lifestyle. Being well styled will give you an edge. There are all too many people walking around dressed in what is practically an urban uniform.

There are very few guys who actually stand out and dress in a way that outwardly displays their sexuality. If you blend in with the crowd, you will get lost in the crowd and will be overlooked by many women who otherwise would have wanted to meet you.

Piercings, fun accessories and quirky hairstyles might be a catchy look for the early 20’s man, however for most men, styling involves being consistent and true to yourself and your lifestyle. Although you shouldn’t stick to guidelines too rigidly, you could look in shop windows or in catalogs for menswear tips. It is very important that you dress to your age accordingly. You should research menswear brands suitable for your age group or lifestyle. Not doing so will have you looking goofy and out of place among the people you may be trying to impress.

For the late teens and early twenties River Island, Topman, and Pull and Bear have affordable fast fashion styles whereas brands such as Ted Baker, Massimo Dutti, Zara, French Connection and Reiss cater for the mid twenty to forties age group. For Urban styles look at brands such as All Saints, Firetrap, Urban Outfitters and Cult. For active wear Quicksilver, Superdry and Breed have trendy and innovative designs. It’s hard not to take notice of men who carefully style and accessorize their look.

Firstly you should invest in quality everyday accessories more so than splashing out on expensive once off pieces. Co-ordinating the colour and material of your wallet, belt and watch will give you instant sophistication and style. Department stores will have a wide selection of essential menswear accessories to choose from and brands such as Massimo Dutti and Ted Baker have innovative and timeless designs, which guarantee high quality. Avoid high street trends, which are usually made with poor quality materials.

Ted Baker has a wide selection of belts in their men’s accessory department. Smart suit trousers require wearing a thin black or brown leather belt with a neat metal buckle. Ted Baker has a clever reversible smart leather belt giving you the option of wearing it in brown or black. They also usually have a box set, which features a changeable cover buckle. Jeans and casual trousers have wider belt loops and therefore require a wider belt. Simple and classic style belts made from natural materials like cotton or leather give a rustic and masculine look. Tacky, labelled, cheap looking belts with tasteless belt buckles should always be avoided.

Wallets should always be thin, simple and made of good quality leather. Avoid carrying them in your trouser pockets. A bulky wallet stuffed into your pockets will disrupt the shape of your trousers and will create a distraction to a potential admirer. Whether its odd socks peeping out of your trousers, ill fitting clothes or an array of accessories, don’t let a fashion faux pas take the focus away from your approach. Your stylist will give you all the menswear tips you need to ensure you always look sharp and at your best.

Scarves create a layered look and you can really experiment with colour and texture. They are great way to inject colour and character into an outfit. Be sure to have a winter and a summer collection. Oversized and chunky knits are great for winter but with summer approaching look for light and natural materials such a silk, cotton or jersey. Your stylist will help you pick out the correct proportion for your outfit and teach you how to wrap it into place to create an effortless look.

Hats can be hit and miss, unless you’re wearing it for practical purposes in the depths of winter. It’s not advisable to suddenly introduce a trilbies hat into your wardrobe if you’re not much of a Pete Doherty to begin with. However a trilby style straw hat with a coloured grosgrain band can look cool and quirky but should only be brought out during the day in the summer months. Urban outfitters, River Island and Zara have a selection of these hats in their Spring/Summer range. If your style is sporty and you’re going to wear a base ball cap or lid make sure it’s clean, in good shape and be careful to avoid team or brand logos which you don’t actually support. Just to emphasise, don’t wear a hat on a night out. They are becoming overused and tacky. So many people have been wearing them in night clubs recently in the hopes of getting attention, that there are now a lot of negative connotations beginning to surround their wearers.

Recently I’ve spotted the tie tack being featured in retro street styles. Harlequin and Wildchild are just two of the many vintage shops in Dublin where you might find a quirky retro piece. Vintage style is a somewhat of a phenomenon more so than a fashion trend. By introducing some vintage pieces into your wardrobe you’re instantly creating a look that’s individual to you, and making you look more interesting to the opposite sex. The trick here though is to not go overboard. If you’re going for an all vintage look be selective about what era you’re going for, style it a contemporary way and only purchase items if they are in ‘good nik’. In other words, try not to look like you are from another decade. Rhinestones jewelery shop also has a wide selection of antique and vintage accessories and watches.

Your stylist will give you tips on how to accessorize and balance your outfit. Balancing an outfit is a crucial skill for any fashion conscious man. The over accessorizing of an outfit can break the length of the silhouette of the body creating a confusing look. Every piece you add or team with a garment must be carefully considered. Accessories should complement the architecture and texture of an outfit rather than conceal it. Following this advice will give a sharpness/sheen to your look. Over accessorizing is one of the most crucial mistakes you can make. If you end up hanging and wrapping too many trims around yourself you’ll end up looking like a Christmas tree. It will get you noticed, but for all of the wrong reasons.

It’s noticing the unexpected detailing in a garment and the creative combination of materials that you will challenge the boundaries of traditional menswear dressing.

Rebecca Flanagan – Fashion Consultant (Kama Lifestyles)

Body Language – How to tell if a girl likes you

“You just arrived in the bar and you are at the counter, ordering drinks. You see a very attractive woman across the room, looking over in your direction. She is smiling at you…

“Wait! She could just have been smiling anyway and happened to glance in my direction…I mean, I don’t even know her”

You’re intrigued, but before you find the courage to speak to her, you need to know for sure:

Is she flirting with you?”

Basic attraction is something that is known and felt from within. There are consistent and identifiable messages that women send to signal interest in men. Yet so many guys miss these signals or, as in the story above, even refuse to acknowledge them. Ask yourself, have you ever spent endless hours chatting to somebody you are attracted to, but still had no idea if they were attracted to you? So many people worry about reading gestures wrong and getting rejected. If only there was a certain method that would reveal the truth in one’s mind!

There are in fact some signs of attraction you can use as guideline to know if the person is romantically interested in you. There is a way of gauging the attraction between two people and a way of knowing when is the best time to make a move. The answer is body language. Body language can reveal a lot about a person and can definitely be used to know about somebody’s feelings and thoughts. Once you broaden your awareness and become good at reading people’s body language, you will know when a person is romantically inclined or simply being friendly.

Read below to discover some interesting body language signs of attraction and figure out the potential of your future conversations.

* Strong, confident and unwavering eye contact eye contact can be very powerful and often means the person is attracted to or at least interested in you.

* If a woman is comfortable with a guy and is feeling sexy, she will tilt her head to show her neck or touch her neck frequently.

* The way a woman blows smoke out and holds her cigarette will tell you a lot about how she is feeling.

* If you’re talking to a woman who likes you, you can tell if she’s feeling a little horny if her nostrils flare. In fact, flaring nostrils are an irrefutable sign of sexual arousal.

* One of the most universal signs of attraction is the smile. If the person you are attracted to is smiling back at you, then you know things are going well.

* If she touches you while talking, that is also another of the body language signs of attraction. All men love the feel of a woman’s touch and she knows this and it is probably the most powerful flirting technique.

* If you are flirting with her and she constantly leans in while talking or listening, then you can be fairly sure that attraction exists between you. Do not move back or move away while she is trying to lean over you, because her reason is to become closer to you.

* Many women know that licking their lips is something that men find sexy. When she does this, a woman is telling you that she likes you and wants your attention.

* Body language makes up a very big part in the first moments of courtship, and by watching her hands, you will learn so much about her intentions.

* Copying the actions, gestures and gesticulations of the person you are attracted to, is one of the obvious body language signs of attraction. It’s natural to mirror someone you like, so if there is someone who likes you, the body language will show.

* Playing with hair can be one of the most obvious signs of female attraction. It is a very sexy gesture and twirling and tossing draws a man’s eye to it.

* Feet play an important part in communication and can tell a great deal about the level of attraction involved. As a general rule, if you are standing or sitting and are attracted to someone your right foot will be pointing in their direction

* The area at the back of your wrists is known to be mildly erotic. If the woman is interested, she will naturally display her wrists to you while she is in conversation.

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